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Ed ONeill League
4-28-2253
Rectal Ranger First Base
Retired (2046, Age 36)
CAREER BIOGRAPHICAL DATA
AVG .298 Total Rating B+   Bats/Throws B/R
OPS .896 Status Deceased (2073) Option Years 0  
H 2459 Age at Death 64 Date of Birth 11-05-2009
HR 494 Drafted Round 1, Pick 1
(2027)		 Majors Svc Time 17 years
(81 games)
RBI 1602
SB 177
OFFENSE PITCHING MENTORING
Contact vs. R B  Contact vs. L B+ Endurance B-   Ldrship B+
Power vs. R A  Power vs. L A  Velocity D-   Mentor vR A+
Speed C+ Bunt D+ Control D-   Mentor vL A+
POSITIONS DEFENSE/HEALTH POSTSEASON
 C * --- SS --- Range C+ WS Rings 4
1B A+ (100%) LF --- Arm A- WS Appearances 7
2B --- CF ---   Health D  LCS Appearances 12
3B --- RF ---   Injured Days 0 All Star Teams 7
* League requires 90% rating to start at catcher.

Year   Team G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO HBP SF SB CS E OPS OBP SLG ISO AVG Awards
2028 PIT
28
104
11
23
2
0
1
15
11
 23 0 0
0
 0 3
.565
.296
.269
.048
.221
2030 PIT
130
507
69
140
19
0
33
81
39
 104 3 2
2
 17 13
.839
.330
.509
.233
.276
2031 PIT
130
510
78
154
27
2
27
83
48
 98 2 3
11
 14 23
.884
.362
.522
.220
.302
2032 PIT
131
506
69
136
21
1
33
98
41
 105 1 6
0
 0 12
.831
.321
.510
.241
.269
2033 PIT
130
504
72
144
17
2
29
90
44
 92 2 3
0
 11 6
.844
.344
.500
.214
.286
2034 PIT
130
506
94
158
21
2
43
125
44
 94 2 7
7
 3 5
.982
.365
.617
.304
.312
2035 PIT
130
517
103
152
21
6
40
126
58
 100 3 5
9
 2 2
.955
.365
.590
.296
.294
2036 PIT
130
522
107
195
39
6
33
147
52
 82 5 6
13
 10 6
1.092
.431
.661
.287
.374
2037 PIT
123
499
101
153
19
3
33
98
50
 78 1 3
14
 4 7
.924
.369
.555
.248
.307
2038 PIT
92
352
60
104
21
2
18
67
42
 67 0 0
13
 6 2
.890
.371
.520
.224
.295
2039 PIT
130
487
77
143
23
6
23
89
59
 121 1 2
13
 20 4
.877
.370
.507
.214
.294
2040 PIT
103
390
89
125
16
4
34
87
53
 69 0 3
14
 7 5
1.043
.399
.644
.323
.321
2041 PIT
121
463
88
147
28
4
29
98
48
 84 4 3
13
 17 4
.967
.384
.583
.266
.317
2042 PIT
117
451
76
145
25
4
29
102
49
 80 0 3
8
 8 3
.973
.386
.588
.266
.322
2043 PIT
130
485
81
152
30
3
28
94
47
 99 5 2
21
 16 9
.939
.378
.561
.247
.313
2044 PIT
130
494
58
128
20
1
15
59
36
 107 3 1
9
 6 5
.707
.313
.395
.136
.259
2045 PIT
130
467
59
140
21
0
22
73
44
 77 1 2
16
 4 6
.846
.360
.486
.186
.300
2046 PIT
130
492
62
120
12
2
24
70
37
 100 3 2
14
 8 7
.722
.300
.423
.179
.244
Total
2145
8256
1354
2459
382
48
494
1602
802
 1580 36 53
177
 153 122
.896
.360
.535
.237
.298
Career Transactions
DateTransaction
2046-11-01Rectal Ranger has retired from the Pittsburgh Beats ^ Guy Every NLCS
2046-10-04Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Beats ^ Guy Every NLCS is injured and is expected to be out 26 days.
2044-10-15Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Abewholes is injured and is expected to be out 14 days.
2042-06-25Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Abewholes is injured and is expected to be out 20 days.
2041-05-19Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Abewholes is injured and is expected to be out 13 days.
2040-08-24Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Abewholes is injured and is expected to be out 43 days.
2038-08-18Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Abewholes is injured and is expected to be out 30 days.
2038-06-03Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Abewholes is injured and is expected to be out 22 days.
2037-08-01Rectal Ranger of the Pittsburgh Abewholes is injured and is expected to be out 12 days.
2030-04-01The Pittsburgh Prophylactics have promoted Rectal Ranger to the major league team.
2029-08-06The Pittsburgh Prophylactics have removed Rectal Ranger from the trade block.
2029-04-01The Pittsburgh Prophylactics have promoted Brian Rosario to the major league team. The Pittsburgh Prophylactics have sent Rectal Ranger to the minors.
2028-08-24The Pittsburgh Offenders have promoted Rectal Ranger to the major league team. The Pittsburgh Offenders have sent Powder Frostall to the minors.
2028-06-04The Pittsburgh Offenders have placed Rectal Ranger on the trade block.
2027-04-01The Pittsburgh Offenders have renamed Todd Schlesinger to Rectal Ranger.