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FuriousGiorge
Sports
April 25, 2005 at 08:21PM View BBCode
How 'bout sports! Pretty good, huh? I especially like the one which involves a round ball and large, fast gentlemen. Or the one with a goal, that's a good one too! I dislike the one where the machine does all the work, that is no sport! What do others think of the sports? I think they are the bees knees!
whiskybear
Then I think about how all those crazy Greeks devolved into one great manpile after battle, with Achilles on top trying to grope at Patroclus, and I just get more confused, because gay people aren't supposed to be good at sports, except for that one lesbian tennis player who beat that guy, but women aren't good at war so I guess it doesn't really count any way, but I still wonder why Homer never wrote about all those massive gay orgies after the Trojan War.
[Edited on 4-25-2005 by whiskybear]
April 25, 2005 at 08:31PM View BBCode
The real question, which bears discussing, is simply, "What is sport?" Homer might describe it as "any athletic competition, the practice of which is inspired by the necessity to train for actual combat, or to mark the successful passing of a certain combat." Ted Williams joined the Air Force, so I think Homer must be right. But then I think about how Carlos Delgado has protested the Iraq War, and I just get confused. But there are some sports that involve guns, and other sports where people get killed, so I guess Homer must be right after all.Then I think about how all those crazy Greeks devolved into one great manpile after battle, with Achilles on top trying to grope at Patroclus, and I just get more confused, because gay people aren't supposed to be good at sports, except for that one lesbian tennis player who beat that guy, but women aren't good at war so I guess it doesn't really count any way, but I still wonder why Homer never wrote about all those massive gay orgies after the Trojan War.
[Edited on 4-25-2005 by whiskybear]
FuriousGiorge
April 25, 2005 at 08:43PM View BBCode
Homer also said, "Bart gets to sit up front today because he's a good guy at sports," which one could view as a metaphor for how sport pacifies the proletariat, allowing those in power to simultaneously avoid the scrutiny of the public while drawing out the aggressive tendencies of the masses which otherwise could easily turn toward revolution. But of course he was talking about hockey, and everyone knows that hockey is for pinko commie Canucks. Bunch of shifty-eyed, pasty-assed moose trappers.
Duff77
April 26, 2005 at 01:51AM View BBCode
It all depends on what version of reality you subscribe to. If you take the view, as I do, that the only world you know is the one you see through your own eyes, then whatever you think is a sport is a sport. If you take the view that someone who puports to be smarter than you in a given subject area defines what is or is not true, then it's up to FuriousGiorge to decide what a sport is.
ME
Games: The object is to score some kind of points, and whoever scores more, wins. There are usually some kind of playing field and these games often involve some kind of projectile. Referees are used to enforce the rules, which are often subjective. See: Baseball, basketball, football, soccer, hockey, etc.
Races: Whoever goes a certain distance the fastest, wins. Races can be on foot or involve vehicles or animals of any kind. See: NASCAR, marathons.
Judged Events: The way one scores points is not by completing some specific action which automatically awards a certain number of points, but by performing a routine and being given points by a panel of judges. See: Figure skating, gymnastics.
Judged events are the kind of sports that women like, so that makes them gay.
April 26, 2005 at 02:01AM View BBCode
There are several types of sports:Games: The object is to score some kind of points, and whoever scores more, wins. There are usually some kind of playing field and these games often involve some kind of projectile. Referees are used to enforce the rules, which are often subjective. See: Baseball, basketball, football, soccer, hockey, etc.
Races: Whoever goes a certain distance the fastest, wins. Races can be on foot or involve vehicles or animals of any kind. See: NASCAR, marathons.
Judged Events: The way one scores points is not by completing some specific action which automatically awards a certain number of points, but by performing a routine and being given points by a panel of judges. See: Figure skating, gymnastics.
Judged events are the kind of sports that women like, so that makes them gay.
sycophantman
Am I high on painkillers? This made me laugh for three minutes... :lol:
April 26, 2005 at 12:25PM View BBCode
Originally posted by FuriousGiorge
How 'bout sports! Pretty good, huh? I especially like the one which involves a round ball and large, fast gentlemen. Or the one with a goal, that's a good one too! I dislike the one where the machine does all the work, that is no sport! What do others think of the sports? I think they are the bees knees!
Am I high on painkillers? This made me laugh for three minutes... :lol:
Duff77
April 26, 2005 at 09:35PM View BBCode
My question is: Does FG talk like this in real life...because if so, he must have two permanently black eyes. Schmuck.
whiskybear
April 26, 2005 at 09:37PM View BBCode
Duff: Kindly extract the panties that are bunched tightly in your anus. I could be mistaken, but I believe they're cutting off the oxygen to your brain.
ABDREW
April 26, 2005 at 10:33PM View BBCode
I think it is time to close this. Please refrain from the personal attacksPages: 1