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Graig Nettles League
3-31-2193
Elmo Dessens Right Field
Retired (2107, Age 37)
CAREER BIOGRAPHICAL DATA
AVG .259 Total Rating B    Bats/Throws L/R
OPS .740 Status Deceased (2144) Option Years 0  
H 2091 Age at Death 74 Date of Birth 01-13-2070
HR 268 Drafted Round 1, Pick 4
(2091)		 Majors Svc Time 16 years
(0 games)
RBI 988
SB 491
OFFENSE PITCHING MENTORING
Contact vs. R B- Contact vs. L B  Endurance B-   Ldrship A 
Power vs. R B  Power vs. L B- Velocity D-   Mentor vR A+
Speed B  Bunt C  Control F    Mentor vL A+
POSITIONS DEFENSE/HEALTH POSTSEASON
 C * --- SS --- Range B- WS Rings 0
1B --- LF --- Arm A  WS Appearances 0
2B --- CF ---   Health B+ LCS Appearances 0
3B --- RF A+ (100%)   Injured Days 0 All Star Teams 0
Notes: FOUR......MOTHER.........FUCKING.......GOLD.........GLOVES. THAT'S ME. THE GREAT AND GOLDEN ELMO FUCKING DESSENS. I MIGHT BE THE WORST PLAYER THAT EVER AMASSED 2000+ HITS. MAYBE. WELL, NOT EVEN CLOSE REALLY. BUT I DO SUCK.
* League requires 0% rating to start at catcher.

Year   Team G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO HBP SF SB CS E OPS OBP SLG ISO AVG Awards
2091 CHA
148
214
22
50
8
2
3
25
18
 58 0 0
17
 6 0
.625
.293
.332
.098
.234
2092 CHA
150
254
33
63
11
0
8
33
16
 54 1 0
7
 11 1
.681
.295
.386
.138
.248
2093 CHA
152
249
24
56
10
3
7
30
20
 61 2 1
14
 7 1
.660
.287
.373
.149
.225
2094 CHA
156
243
35
60
12
4
6
34
28
 43 2 0
13
 12 6
.733
.330
.403
.156
.247
2095 CHA-SF
150
546
52
126
12
5
18
56
42
 114 0 2
26
 20 3
.655
.285
.370
.139
.231
2096 SF
155
589
74
142
18
5
21
67
48
 139 1 4
42
 10 7
.693
.298
.396
.154
.241
2097 SF
155
555
67
143
23
6
15
72
63
 122 0 2
40
 18 3
.734
.332
.402
.144
.258
2098 SF
149
561
63
139
16
5
18
63
36
 129 3 3
33
 20 3
.686
.295
.390
.143
.248
2099 SF
155
567
71
159
27
7
24
89
54
 119 4 5
45
 14 6
.824
.344
.480
.199
.280
2100 SF
155
578
78
150
30
5
19
81
55
 120 3 4
43
 18 4
.752
.325
.427
.168
.260
2101 SF
155
627
89
175
25
5
26
92
49
 126 1 4
43
 12 0
.790
.330
.459
.180
.279
2102 SF
155
634
98
180
31
4
22
67
66
 115 0 5
48
 20 5
.798
.349
.450
.166
.284
2103 SF
155
654
89
169
36
6
20
69
60
 144 3 3
45
 25 4
.746
.322
.424
.165
.258
2104 SF
155
631
98
172
29
6
22
67
62
 119 4 1
38
 16 6
.783
.341
.442
.170
.273
2105 SF
154
594
82
152
27
3
26
77
51
 118 2 0
17
 10 6
.760
.317
.443
.187
.256
2106 SF
152
576
73
155
29
6
13
66
60
 113 4 2
20
 24 3
.749
.341
.408
.139
.269
Total
2451
8072
1048
2091
344
72
268
988
728
 1694 30 36
491
 243 58
.740
.321
.419
.160
.259
Career Transactions
DateTransaction
2107-11-01Elmo Dessens has retired from the Chicago MOTHERHUMPING CHONEICORNS!
2107-05-02The Chicago MOTHERHUMPING CHONEICORNS! have acquired Elmo Dessens from the waiver wire.
2107-03-31The San Francisco Hammers have waived Elmo Dessens. The San Francisco Hammers have waived Nightand Damon. The San Francisco Hammers have waived Lew Lee. The San Francisco Hammers have waived Bob Mele.
2103-04-21The San Francisco Hammers have placed Elmo Dessens on the trade block.
2098-09-24Elmo Dessens of the San Francisco Blumer tiene caca Rosa is injured and is expected to be out 24 days.
2095-04-09A trade has been completed between the Chicago MagicLand Unicorn Factory and the San Francisco Pablo Sandoval eats donuts. The San Francisco Pablo Sandoval eats donuts receive Mike McLeland, Elmo Dessens, Chuck McNamara, Art Cook, Daryl Gentile, Max Hogg, Gale Frye, Joe Hudlin, Bob Leber from the Chicago MagicLand Unicorn Factory in exchange for Ed Hill, Jackson Browne, Karim Garcia, Steve Potter, Hal Calvert. Protest This Trade.
2091-04-01The Chicago MagicLand Unicorn Factory have promoted Elmo Dessens to the major league team.